Leonardo Da Vinci’s Job Application copy to the Duke of Milan

The translation of this letter is quite remarkable: 

“Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.

1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy.

2. I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.

3. 3. If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.

4. Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.

5. And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.

6. I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.

7. I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance.

8. In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type.

9. Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.

10. In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another.

11. I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may. Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza. And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency – to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.”

TRANSITION OF CORPORATE CAREERS IN TO “GLORIOUS SLACKERHOOD”!

Now that Barack Obama has fixed the American economy, Anna Hazare has defeated Indian corruption, and the BCCI has created a sensible league format for the IPL, we can turn our attention to the remaining, smaller problems, that we can solve on our own without having to rely on these superhuman people. I suggest we start with the problem that plagues so many of us: our jobs.

JOB # 1 :: House-husband

Lots of people look down on women who stay at home instead of working, but in India you’ll find even more people who insist that they must stay at home and be housewives – Sathya Sai Baba, for example. On the other hand, almost everyone agrees that a man should under no circumstances be the home manager.

You know what? To blazes with them. If you’re so fed up with the corporate life that all you want to do is stay home and do the actual physical work while your wife’s salary provides the money to run the household, anti-career consultants will help you do it. This will include training modules on ironing, cooking, and laundry segregation, and also motivational talks on how to endure the ridicule of society. These may include videos of Goong, a Korean TV series where the heroine’s father is a house-husband who does the dusting in a pink apron, while his wife goes around selling insurance. You should watch it even if you aren’t planning to become a house-husband, actually.

JOB # 2 :: Poker Player

There are many unsavoury professions, where you make lots of money, and where you can also pretend that you’re doing something noble. For example, entering government employment meant you collected lots of bribes while passing it off as serving the public (up until yesterday when Anna Hazare vapourised corruption with sheer will power), being a urologist involves seeing diseased penises day in and day out but you can still talk about how healing the sick is your calling, and being an entrepreneur means endless hassles but you get praised for creating jobs.

Being a poker player doesn’t even have that advantage. All your winnings are being taken from other people, so you can’t claim that you’re creating wealth – it’s just being shifted around. Polite company, informed that you make your money hustling newbies at gambling, will look askance. For this anti-career path, the support group will train you in both poker and public speaking, so that you can skilfully convince everyone that your time is being well spent. (Note: this also applies to day trading.)

JOB # 3 :: Kept Woman

I would like to assure my female readers that I haven’t forgotten that they face career boredom as well. They can’t be house-husbands, but there is something they can be that draws similar censure: kept women. They will be relieved to know that the censure isn’t completely unmitigated: the Supreme Court of India does approve of keeps.

From the AUTHOR (Humour Columnist)

If all else fails, there is one unbeatable alternative to a corporate job: it is becoming a humour columnist. You get paid to write nonsense, you can work from home while wearing a faded T-shirt and shorts (or being naked, come to that). You do have deadlines, but then you don’t have customers. It is awesome.

However, as one myself, I don’t want the field getting crowded with competition, and so I am not going to provide suggestions for people who want to become columnists. They’re on their own.

But for everything else, I’m ready to provide a sympathetic ear and a helping hand. Come my brothers and sisters, let us throw off our corporate chains and embark upon GLORIOUS SLACKERHOOD!

Introduction & Preface

With support from both the judiciary and anti-career counselors, high-flying women executives will learn how to stop being high-flying women executives and be languorous ladies of leisure instead. Unfortunately, I can’t speak from personal experience here, but I think a training module would include this movie at the very least. Oh, and a friendly reminder that Kodhi, mentioned above, is rich, funny, and single.

This is something that most people don’t realise when they start – but their careers are going to be a source of frustration for them. There are the day-to-day issues, like dealing with HR, the commute to your job, and the food in the canteen. But there are also larger, more philosophical problems. About six months into your career, you start thinking “Am I really cut out for this? Should I be doing something else? Is this meaningful?”

And then you realise that you have EMIs to pay and resign yourself to your job.

Did I say that? What I meant to say was: and then you gain self-confidence, start kicking ass at your job and realise that you are actually pretty good at it. But that only lasts so often. Four years after the six month itch, you get the five-year itch, where you realise that you the problem isn’t that you’re not good enough, it’s that your job is boring. You wonder: is cross-checking cash vouchers and material received notes all there is to life? Will you ever move beyond sewerage consultancy reports? How much analysis can you subject a liability portfolio to, anyway? Once upon a time, writing code or selling soap had seemed glamorous and world-changing. Now, it is prosaic. And every year, more and more people feel this way.

The problem actually starts in our childhoods, when our parents and teachers keep insisting that we get high-paying or prestigious jobs, preferably both. Television and movies do their best to convince us to become cricketers, actors, or reality TV stars instead; but they are powerless in the face of relatives, authority figures, and motivational speakers. Here, your parents tell you to crack IIT or AIIMS. There, Chetan Bhagat tells you to fulfill your potential and become an entrepreneur. Eventually, you follow that path, and by the time you’re thirty, you’re staring at burnout, wondering what the hell you can do that is actually interesting.

Nobody is safe, no matter how interesting the job or how good the pay. My friend Kodhi, who always wanted to sell fast moving consumer goods, is doing just that, and is being paid very well to do it. Even so, he wishes for something more adventurous and exciting – though to be fair, maybe he would be happy if he found someone adventurous and exciting.

We need a solution to counteract all this motivation and push towards achievement, which just ends up giving us boring jobs. So here is my proposal: a support group for people who are fed up with the corporate life and are figuring out what they should do instead. It’s the opposite of career consulting – this is anti-career consulting, which encourages you and gives you guidance on how to enter jobs that society looks down upon, but which are actually more fulfilling.

Regarding Gaddafi’s Nation State–Current situation–03/31/2011

 

How can you justify citizens of their own country picking up firearms (guns), ammunitions just to save their ‘homes/families’? It highlights, either they have serious internal problems within the country or that enemies were always there, present in masses everywhere, which is why every individual is frenzied in killing people of their own land. I guess, we Indians prefer addressing each other as brothers. <<After 1979, Gaddafi was also called as “The Brother Leader”>>

But our curiosity increases further when we are made aware of a pre-Libyan history of tribalism where the tribal lords/chieftains were the main heads in administering their own tribes. Whatever Libyan entity is today, was unified in 1969 as one single Arab Republic country under the leadership of Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi. This 17th largest country of the world traces its modern history back to 24th December, 1951 when Turkish occupants declared Libya as an united independent kingdom under the rule of King Idris. Geographical location advantage adds half the might & glory of this nation, and the rest is ‘oil based politics’. The  majority of its land area falls under Saharan desert & so rarely inhabited by common mass. Its narrow borderline to the coastal Mediterranean is a scenic beauty for rest of the world but a biggest occupation area of entire African continent. And this is what puts Libya above, among the rest of the African nations. You can corner this entire country but still it can flee through sea route & find a new land to re-create its own identity.

I read in some newsprint that Gaddafi has commented, “the way we stopped Al Qaida to enter our land, nobody can do as such”. This is a much powerful statement than the declarations/actions undertaken by Bush Jr., on aftermath of the Twin-Towers. If both these are considered premise #1 & premise #2 then logically derived  inference proves Muammar al-Gaddafi as a much more mature leader of the world as compared to George Bush Jr.

My intent is not to arouse any interest in criticism of nations but individuals. A land ruled by tribal lords & chieftains, combine all of them under single rule & it becomes a unified Kingdom, which happened in 1951 & the honorary king was King Idris. Muammar al-Gaddafi is a great visionary & a true Leader. In those times, none of the Tribal lords were Oxonians or individuals with similar credentials to realize Gaddafi’s vision & could not have united together for a true cause of bringing a revolution to form/create a single “Nation-State”, Libya. I am sure majority of them apprehended Gaddafi’s actions. Gaddafi’s actions were not godly & at few a times, death of a few chieftains arrived even before they could dream. One of those chieftains came to a meeting called by al-Gaddafi & not sure with what intent, he boasted of his tribe possessing huge stockpiles of ammunitions, firepower which no one can imagine. It was a lie, but before that could be further investigated Gaddafi had ordered to eliminate all the heads of that tribal group overnight.

Members/common man of several such groups are todays Libyan citizens. Such individuals later regrouped as families then built communities; and current days rebels or allies. But all this happened over a long period of time as long as 42 years. What we don’t see is a similar Libyan visionary who can replace this man Muammar al-Gaddafi.

Todays world citizens must realize this fact, at least, that whoever had led a revolution against kingly rule are the main frontrunners of current human civilisation.

They had lived those lives what we read & try to imagine, today. Al-Gaddafi had envisioned the very idea of Libya as a single “Nation-State” entity unified as an Arab republic.

As people die in Libya, we observe, and a few powerful intervene to so called ‘save civilisation’ but in real they are safeguarding their own interests. For example, a Russian state company has major stakes in a particular oil reserve of Libya; surprisingly there’s no report of any fighting in that area or nearby towns. The Libyan citizens of that town comments that ‘no fighting here & if such situations arise we along with Russian forces shall guard our land vis-à-vis oil wells….he he he

Until this Gaddafi revolution, Libyan resources were exploited under supervision of the United Nations, but if things continuously keep on deteriorating for Gaddafi’s regime then Libya will soon become an orphaned land open for uncontrolled exploitation by international community. And FYI of the Libyans, this time there will be no supervision because UN secretary general Ban Ki moon was recently manhandled in Arab League headquarters where he had convened a meeting to decide Libya’s fate.

May God Save Libya – Amen!

Unethical behaviour or corruption is a matter of Degrees, irrespective of Geographical boundaries

 

In US business schools there is rarely much discussion about basic ethics. It is taken for the granted that the grads will be essentially honest. You don’t have to teach them about meum etteum (that’s mine & yours for the Latin less). What they are told about is how to resist pressures in emerging economies where things don’t move unless you grease the appropriate palms.

People who are corrupt they have a short-term mentality. They believe they won’t get caught and, sooner or later, will make enough to land in a milk & honey.

UNFORTUNATELY THE HONEY HAS TO BE SPREAD… You get much less than your original calculations. And once on the Ferris Wheel, you can’t get off.

“All organisations are unethical” says an aggrieved, Mumbai based HR Consultant. “But there are grades of corruption. One of the biggest houses has hired my services and then refused to pay the fees”. She seems to be equally angry with the MNCs who preach but don’t practise. “They have constantly been saying that that the Indian environment forced them in to corruption”, she says. “But now that Indian companies have started going abroad, they find those guys waiting with open palms. When they bribed Indian politicians, half the money stayed in their personal accounts.”

She feels that there needs to be a re-thinking on how you define the most corrupt country in the world. Chocolates & cheese can’t make you smell good forever.

So does joining the rate race means that we have to don the ethics of rodent? Not necessarily.

You can be a white mouse, unambitious and unworried.

You may miss out on some goodies, but you don’t risk the traps too.

“The maxims. life span of a rat is three years, although most barely manage one” as per Wikipedia->a yearly mortality rate of 95% is estimated. A white mouse can soldier on till six.

Adjunct Professor, TRUCK SCHOOL OF BUSINESS, Richard S. Shreve says “We don’t spend a lot of time trying to convince our students not to commit fraud”

Funny Side-Up <dedicated to the Election Commission of India>

Two men met at a bus stop  & struck up with a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally the other man said: “ You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation. A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter . That made my step-daughter, my step mom. And my father became my stepson.     At the same time, my wife became her father-in-law’s mother in law! Much later my wife’s daughter (who is also my stepmother) had a son. This boy was now my half- brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter , which made him my wife’s grandson. That made me a grandfather to my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a baby. Now my son’s half-sister (my stepmother) is also a grand-mom.  This makes my father, my child’s brother-in-law, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother -in -law , my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew, and I am my own grandfather! And you think you have family problems!”

–by MIR (courtesy- FunSpace; The Telegraph – 18th March-2011)

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